There and Back Again: Days 2 & 3

On Sunday we discovered that Zinash has a playful, slightly mischievous side.

Zinash shooting "ants" at an unsuspecting Dada

Silly girl

Love that smile!

We played a lot of games, the girls chased each other around the house giggling, and we started to relax a little bit more around each other.

Ready for Cali

Around 1 or 2 pm a couple arrived from New York. They were going from 0 to 3 children by adopting three siblings ages 10, 6, and 2. Amazing! Once they met their children and brought them to the Guest House, the house got even livelier. Mihret and Zinash enjoyed having some other kids around and Chuck and I enjoyed the conversation with the parents.

Welcome to fatherhood!

On Monday we took a little excursion to a silk-weaving industry called Sabahar. The grounds of the factory were beautiful, as were the woven products that were created there.

Mihret, Chuck, and Zinash at Sabahar with Dawit, our favorite driver (We met Dawit in 2007 when we went to Ethiopia to bring home Mihret.)

The gardens at Sabahar

On the first level, the weavers were at work creating gorgeous textiles. On the second level was a store where they sold the beautiful products they created.

After we returned to the Guest House, Mihret and Zinash discovered a large woven basket in the hallway and put it to good use.

What do you do with a large basket?

Hide a silly sister...

...or yourself!

That evening, Zinash and the 10 yr old daughter of our new friends discovered that the Guest House had a copy of High School Musical 3. Oh boy. Chuck could barely contain his excitement. Welcome to the tween years, sweetheart!

There and Back Again: Day 1

We got to the Guest House, Gail (Adoption Advocates International's Director in Ethiopia) took us to pick up Zinash, and then we were a family of four. Just like that. A family. Except that we were a family that didn't know each other yet and that didn't speak the same language.

Gail suggested that a good way to break the ice would be to show Zinash the things we had brought for her. It wasn't long before the girls were outside jumping rope and blowing bubbles. It was still awkward and I had many moments in which I thought, "How do we do this? How do we communicate? What do we do with all of these hours? How do we make Zinash feel safe and comfortable? How do we make us feel comfortable again?" So we blew bubbles, put together puzzles, played games, watched videos, and little by little, started becoming a family.

Here are some photos and a video of our first day together:

There and Back Again: The Travel

Now that we are getting caught up on sleep and adjusting to the time change (read: I am able to stay awake past 7:30 pm), I thought it was about time we chronicled our trip to Ethiopia. We covered the first few days of the trip in email form, but it's just not the same without the pictures, so here we go again!

We left Los Angeles on Thursday, February 4th, at 4 pm. Sixteen hours and multiple timezones later, we landed in Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. It was Friday, February 5th, at 8 pm when we landed. You would think that after 16 hours in the air we would all be exhausted. Two of us were.

The other one, not so much...

We were flying Emirates Air, which is super-duper-awesome-amazing, and since our layover lasted more than 8 hours, they put us up in a hotel for the night. Mihret fell asleep after we got to the hotel, but woke up around 2 am hungry.

"Mama, I'm hungry."

"It's the middle of the night, honey. I don't have any food. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep."

"But Mama, I'm really, really HUNGRY..."

Then I remembered that the hotel gave us meal vouchers that were good 24 hours a day, so at 2:30 am I took my 2 year old daughter down to the restaurant to eat something. I must have looked like a terrible mom, but honestly, it was 2:30 in the afternoon our body's time.

When we got back from "breakfast," I couldn't get any lights in our room to go on and it was pitch black. Chuck was still sleeping so I didn't want to turn on many lights but I needed some light so we wouldn't trip over things. We went downstairs to find someone who could help us. He couldn't figure it out either so he called another guy. Before I knew it, there were three men in our room trying to get the lights to come on - all while my husband was trying to sleep. The last guy fixed the problem and then proceeded to turn ALL of the lights in the room on in spite of my attempts to stop him. Oh well, nothing like waking up to the sounds of unknown men in your room and then have all the lights turned on... Surprisingly, Chuck didn't go back to sleep after that.

Mihret and I went back to the restaurant for 2nd breakfast around 5:30 am and then we all headed to the airport. The ever vibrant Mihret had fun both in the airport and making friends on the plane.

Mihret colored this picture for Zinash

Mihret with another adoptive family on the airplane. They were also adopting a child from the same orphanage that Zinash was at.

We arrived in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia around 12:30 pm on Saturday, February 6th. We covered the airport fiasco pretty well in another post, so I won't re-hash it here. Suffice it to say that we were really glad when we got out of the airport and on our way to the Guest House where we were staying.

Reasons Why I'm Five Kinds Of Hosed

This will probably be an ongoing series of thoughts, reflections, and comments regarding my new status as the father of two girls.

A) We were a family for about 30 minutes (after picking Z up from the orphanage and bringing her to the guest house where we were staying) when my youngest informed me that I needed to leave the room where we all were staying. Her rationale? "This is a girls only room, Dada- you can come back later". Seriously.

B) My newest daughter's preferred entertainment, as evidenced by the videos she wanted to watch in the guest house and the movies she wanted to watch on the plane ride home: High School Musical 3, The Jonas Brothers, and Hannah Montana. Although there's a language barrier, I continued to tell her "That's not what America is like...", by which I meant "We're not watching this crap when we get home." I can dream, can't I?

C) Her favorite color? Pink. Splendid.

More, I'm sure, to come.

First Family Photo

We went to the park today and ran into a friend who took our first family photo for us!


Zinash has discovered the joy of having her photo taken and ran around the playground saying, "Take picture?" and then, "Me see?" I decided that the "Shike photography gene" must actually be learned rather than genetic. Here are a few more pics from our first California park day.

Tales from the road

Continuing posting the emails sent out during our trip:
Fair warning #1: Long update ahead but the gist of it is that all is well.

Fair warning #2: Chuck wrote the first half (up to arrival at the Guest House) and Carrie wrote the second half, so the use of the pronouns gets a little confusing.

On to the update:

Our travels thus far have been thankfully uneventful. Given the concern that arose regarding our paperwork, the remainder of our journey to Addis has been smooth sailing.

Our trip to Dubai was long (16hours), but being overnight was very helpful. Mihret and Carrie both slept for some time, while Chuck fed his typical insomnia with all of the channels of entertainment that Emirates Airlines offers. We also brought along our laptop, so that Mihret could enjoy Jay Jay the plane and Bob the Builder when she was done watching Terminator Salvation.

Arriving in Dubai, it was a short and easy transition to our hotel. When we were here in 2007, the airport was undergoing renovations and was hosting an international show for all the major airplane producers (Boeing, Airbus, etc). On that occasion, our lodging was a good distance from the airport; great enough that we missed our flight the next morning due to being stuck in a traffic jam getting to DBX. This time, we were placed (as part of our airfare Emirates often requires an overnight stay but will provide the hotel accommodations) much closer to the airport- we probably could have walked if we needed to. Our hotel issue was mostly due to our body clocks being 12 hours off and due to Mihret getting the sleep she needed on the plane; we got to our hotel at 9:30 ish, and she was not at all tired. As such, Carrie didn’t get much rest; in fact, the two of them went to a very early breakfast at 2:30 in the morning. Chuck, on the other hand was sleeping well until a problem occurred with the room’s electrical system and the staff decided it would be a good idea to test all of the lights to ensure they were working properly.

We were urged from our room at 5:30 by the Adhan, the morning call to prayer. By this time, we were all well awake, and Carrie and Mihret headed downstairs to their second breakfast. When we boarded the shuttle at 6:15, off in the distance we could see the towering lights of the Burj Khalafi, the world’s tallest building. As you know, this was one of the things that Chuck was most excited about.

Dubai Airport is incredibly spacious, incredibly clean, and really efficient. Their vendors were also really impressive, if you’re into that kind of things- as a major financial center for one of the richest cities in the world, we probably shouldn’t have been surprised to find Chanel, Dior, Rolex and other major retailers with shops right next to the UAE versions of Orange Julius and Cinnebon. Imagine Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, only with jumbo jets; Dubai has been a market and place for trading for millennia, the airport reflected that.

It was also one of the most diverse experiences I’ve been a part of- Just sitting and listening, I counted at least 15 different languages. Really impressive, and reminded me a lot of the narrative from the second chapter of Acts.

When we finally arrived in Addis, the fun began. Carrie and I have traveled extensively enough to know the “situation” at most airports, but didn’t have our radar on this time. As we cleared customs, we encountered a member of the airport baggage claim staff who asked us “Guest house?” Assuming that he was a part of the AAI team, and thankful to be met at the airport, we nodded and he began to help us claim our baggage. While it was very helpful, we soon realized that his entrepreneurial spirit was motivating him more than his desire to help us connect with AAI. By the time it was all competed, we had tipped his manager and paid he and a colleague about three times the amount that baggage porters usually receive. Hustlin’ pays the bills, I guess.

The other major snag that we encountered was clearing customs. We were again bringing donations for the orphanages, which this time included a flat panel monitor for the main administration team. This was provided to us by another Los Angeles area parent, and we had packed it with the rest of our belongings. At customs, we were asked to take it out and were told we needed to pay import tax on it. The fact that it was a) used, b) not ours and c) being donated to an orphanage didn’t really matter. Chuck’s passport was being held until the matter was rectified. While we were dealing with this, I couldn’t help but notice that another passenger was dealing with the same issues; this time for a very dated and very used box of cell phones. He had a lot more energy than we did, and was very adamant that he wasn’t paying tax and that they could keep the phones. The “Boss” said that this wasn’t his call, and that they would also impound all of the rest of his belongings as well. The man seemed OK with that, and was still in “dialogue” when we left. This was one of the moments that it was good to have our newfound baggage handler friend with us- he worked through the crowds to get our process expedited (lines and “taking turns” are often optional, it’s better to be direct), and miraculously got our “tax” cut by a third. If any of you are being audited, I would be glad to connect you with his services.

Finally, we had all of our bags (two suitcases and four bags of items for people in Addis) loaded into the van and began our journey to the guest house. The trip was much faster this time; the road construction that we had witnessed on our last visit (a combined effort of the Ethiopian and Chinese governments) was complete and made travel much smoother. After arriving at the spacious guest house, we took a quick nap before our ride would come get us and take us to meet our new daughter. A word about naps- If you’re exhausted, they really don’t help all that much. Mihret is a typical two-something; hates to go to sleep, hates to wake up. But eventually, bleary eyed and somewhat put together, we got into our vehicle and headed to the orphanage.

We may have a problem with Mihret when we get home. She is getting a kick out of sitting in a car “like Mama” (seatbelt), and may not be all that excited to resume her status as car-seat occupant upon return to LA.

Gail, the Director of Adoption Advocates International in Ethiopia, brought us to the orphanage where Zinash was and we waited for her to come out of the house. We could see lots of little faces peering out of windows, whispering to each other and giggling. There was also a small crowd of children gathering outside the door of the house. Finally, one of the house mothers emerged from the crowd of children with our daughter. She was smaller than I (Carrie) thought she would be but absolutely adorable. She was shy but came right to us and let us hug her. Her face showed a variety of emotions in a short time – scared, excited, sad, happy. We can only imagine what was going through her head. Seriously – we can only imagine because her ability to communicate in English is very limited. She knows more English than we know Amharic, but still not enough to communicate easily.

She was very, very quiet on the rest of our first day together. When she spoke, it was usually one or two words spoken in a whisper. She smiled a lot but also looked nervous. I was nervous too. Here was a fully formed human being who was both a stranger and our daughter. How could we make her feel comfortable and safe with us?

Gail suggested that a good way to break the ice would be to show her the new things we brought for her. She got a big smile at this suggestion, so we proceeded to unpack our bags to try to find the things we brought for her. This was easier said than done because I spread out everyone’s belongings among the six pieces of luggage we brought just in case some of the bags didn’t make it. When we traveled to Ethiopia to bring home Mihret, two of our pieces of luggage arrived with us; two arrived several days later. Unfortunately, most of the things we packed for me and Mihret were in one of the bags that was delayed. I determined that we would do what we could to prevent that from happening again. Of course, since I had gone to all of the work of spreading out our belongings between our suitcases and the boxes of donations, everything arrived at once. (Not complaining!) So anyway, Zinash helped me unpack all of our bags and reorganize our things. It really was a good ice breaker, but it still felt awkward.

We barely made it to 7 pm before our eyes were shutting on their own, and Zinash was surprisingly ready to go to bed then too. It was kind of a fitful night for everyone, but in spite of the tossing and turning and frequent wakings, we got some much needed rest.

During our second day with Zinash, we got to know her better and found out that she is playful, slightly mischievous (especially when playing with Daddy), and loves to laugh. We played a version of hopscotch in the morning and then Zinash and Mihret chased each other around the Guest House grounds laughing, giggling, and shrieking with delight. We discovered that Zinash likes puzzles, games, coloring, jumping rope, blowing bubbles, watching movies, and eating hamburgers. She seems to like us too, which is a relief to all of us!

Day three has felt more comfortable. We are getting to know each other and are enjoying the time we are spending together. Mihret adores her big sister and wants Zinash to do everything with her, and Zinash seems to be having fun playing with Mihret. Today they discovered that they could hide in a large basket and pop out and surprise me when I was coming down the stairs. I have a feeling that they are just beginning to discover the silly and mischievous adventures they can get into together.

The rest of our week in Ethiopia is looking like it will be full of activity. Tomorrow we are planning to visit Layla House, the orphanage where Mihret lived before we brought her home. We’re looking forward to seeing the ladies who cared for Mihret. Wednesday is our US Embassy appointment. We would appreciate your continued prayers that the correction to our visa approval for Zinash makes it to the US Embassy in Ethiopia by the time we have our appointment on Wednesday. Thursday will be the day of Zinash’s goodbye party at her orphanage, AHOPE. We are praying that the goodbye party will be meaningful for Zinash and that she will feel loved and supported as she moves on to a new life with us in America. It will undoubtedly be sad for her to say goodbye to those who have loved and cared for her for the last six years. Please pray that God would comfort her and her friends and caregivers at AHOPE. Pray also that we will know how best to support her in the midst of the tremendous changes ahead.

Thank you for all of your encouragement, prayers, and support as we add to our family!

See, wha had happened was...

The next two posts are going to be re-caps of the emails we sent out. Sorry for the repeat; unless you're one of the folks who didn't get these, in which case- Sorry for forgetting you.

Onward- First, it starts here: Never a Dull Moment

Then, from February 3:

So we're still waiting on a definitive answer regarding whether or not we can travel. Your continued prayers - both for a favorable and expeditious outcome and for peace of heart and mind while we wait - are much appreciated.

I've learned some more about the situation today. The fix for the problem should actually be pretty quick. We need someone from the Los Angeles USCIS office to look at our file, re-read the recommendation page of our home study, and send an email to the US Embassy in Ethiopia with the correction. Once we know that the LA USCIS office is willing to send that email, we will be cleared to travel. Susan, who works for our adoption agency, and Mary, who works for our homestudy agency, have been working on it all day, but we still haven't heard anything back from USCIS. Susan said that if we haven't heard anything definitive by first thing tomorrow morning, we'll start calling senators' offices. She's looking up phone numbers tonight. She said to prepare to travel tomorrow, but there is still the chance that we will have to delay if the USCIS office says that they need more information in order to fix the mistake. It is a blessing and an encouragement to have these dear women working so hard on our behalf!

I'm not going to lie - this is stressful and my stomach is in knots. I am still hopeful, though, that we will be traveling to Ethiopia tomorrow to be united with our daughter. And if we don't travel tomorrow...well, it will still be okay. God is good. If you don't hear from us by tomorrow evening, that's a good thing. It means we're on a plane headed to Dubai and then Ethiopia. If we get delayed, I'll let you know tomorrow. Thanks again for your prayers, encouragement, and support! Zinash is soooo worth all this effort! I can't wait to meet her!!

February 4

Hooray! We got approval today that the mistake has been corrected and we are good to go today! Thank you, God!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you, friends, for your prayers and encouragement. I know I told you that I wouldn't write if we were leaving today but I was too excited not to share the good news with you.

Also, we are very thankful for our adoption agency, Adoption Advocates Int'l, our homestudy agency, Partners for Adoption, and some amazing women from Project Hopeful and EACH, Carolyn Twietmeyer and McLane Layton, who advocated in expedient and effective ways on our behalf.

We'll keep you posted on our trip!

February 11

Remember that whole Visa thing we were freaked out about before leaving?

The one the USCIS guaranteed would be resolved?

It's not. They have sent the wrong forms back and forth about three times, and we're still stuck here. Your tax dollars at work, right?

The short of it- If the United States Visa office doesn't send the correct form (Visa 37, for those of you who like to pray specifically) sometime Thursday (US time), we're probably not home until Wednesday or Thursday of next week (due to the Friday noon shut down for the Ethiopian embassy, the President's holiday, changing flights, etc.).

From what we've been told, it's an easy fix; but, they've been saying that for over a week. We do know that the US Embassy here is on top of it, and we have lawyers from other advocacy groups working to assist us as well.

But, as the subject implies, prayers are needed to "keep things moving".

Hope to have good news soon...

February 11, Part Deux

Well, that was quick...

Honest to Yahweh (the only way this worked), I hit "send" on the last email and the phone rang with news that our Visa had come in. We fly out tomorrow.

Thanks for your prayers... ain't it great to have hope in high places?

The low down-
Here's the down and dirty: the UCIS (mentioned above) goofed our initial form. This was corrected, and sent to the US Visa office in DC. They usually need at least a week to process these under normal circumstances. By "normal circumstances" I mean "not huge amounts of freaking snow". Yup, DC was closed for several days during this situation.

So, by Wednesday when we went to the US Embassy this was still unresolved. The DC office had made it in and had filled out paperwork to be sent to Addis; but it was the wrong paperwork. Our advocate at AAI managed to negotiate our ability to go ahead and "interview" with the Embassy staff, so Zinash's Visa would be approved as soon as the right form showed up. No guarantees on when that would happen, although the agent we dealt with said it should be an easy fix and promised to contact DC directly to work it out.

And, here we are in LA. Jetlagged, and waking up at weird hours. It's good to be home.

We're Home!

Sorry for leaving you hanging! We were able to go to Ethiopia as scheduled and just arrived home yesterday afternoon. We have many stories to tell but we're pretty jet-lagged, so the stories will trickle in over the next week or two. In the meantime, here are some pictures:




More to come...

Never a Dull Moment

This morning we got a call from our adoption agency. The US Embassy in Ethiopia was checking the paperwork of families whose embassy appointments were upcoming to make sure that fingerprints weren't expired. While they were doing that, they realized that there was a glitch in our paperwork that would prevent us from getting a US visa to bring home Zinash. Our agency called us to alert us to the problem and then called our homestudy agency. The homestudy agency said that the mistake in our paperwork happened at the Los Angeles USCIS office, so they said they would call the contacts they had there and ask them to correct the mistake.

If all goes well, the LA USCIS office will write an addendum to our approval letter and expedite its delivery to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. In that case we could still travel this Thursday and have our embassy appointment next Wednesday.

If all does not go well, our travel could be delayed. Our adoption agency is assigned a US Embassy date in Ethiopia every other week, so if our travel is delayed our new embassy appointment would most likely be February 24. Unfortunately, that's a really critical week for Chuck at work so I'm not sure if we would be able to travel that week. Hmm...

We are hoping and praying that the Los Angeles USCIS office will respond favorably and expeditiously and that our travel will not be delayed at all. We would appreciate your prayers as well. God is able to do all things and we know that He can intervene. Whether or not we travel as planned, though, we are trusting God to work out this situation in the best possible way. God is good. He loves us. He loves Zinash. It will be okay. (Can you hear me reminding myself of these truths?)